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Ok, I have no idea why I am even going to take the time to update/change this website because even if everyone I knew checked
this site as often as I did...then I guess nobody would ever check this site.
Well the weirdest thing happened to me the other day. I was walking
down the center isle at Wal-Mart...You know the one with all the pots and pans and whatnot...and as I passed the big pot used
for cooking chicken soup, a little midget jumped out from it and hit me on the head. I was a bit taken by his actions, but
before I could react I fell into a deep slumber, often referred to as a coma. While in this transcendental state of mind,
I had a dream. I dreamed that I was driving down a rainbow somewhere between Scotland and Kansas, and people kept throwing
Skittles at me. At first it was kind of fun because I could just catch the Skittles in my mouth and eat them, what a life.
Well that is what I thought at first. But then one of the Skittles landed in my ear and got stuck and I couldn't get it out.
It got infected and started doing weird things to my body. My hair turned blue and then fell out. My body started turning
all sorts of colors. I went to the hospital but they couldn't do anything for me. So I sought out a voodoo witch doctor in
the Amazon to try and work some of their mysterious magic on me to see if they could heal me. Unfortunately it wasn't really
a witch doctor, just a headhunter. He immediately tied me up and put me in a cage. He then started to sharpen his axe...the
one he was going to decapitate me with. Needless to say I was pretty scared. As he opened the cage door in preparation to
completing his terrible dead, I suddenly had an idea. Instead of taking my head...I pulled the Skittle out of my ear and offered
it to him. He graciously took it. He was fascinated with its complexity. Immediately after pulling the Skittle out of my ear
my body returned to its normal color. It made me realize that even headhunters must have powers. Anyway, so me and the headhunter
said our goodbyes and I went back to journey through the Amazon to find my way home. No sooner had I taken three steps into
the forest was I attacked by a tribe of Hatsawooki tribesmen. They immediately started throwing little round gray things at
me. After one hit me in the face I realized they were rocks. So I began to run as fast as I could. I didn't really know where
I was running. I just figured anywhere would be better then there. Well unfortunately for me I ran right off a cliff. As I
was falling to my certain death, out of nowhere a Tarzan type man wisped from nowhere and saved me. As I looked into the eyes
of my benefactor he looked familiar, real familiar. I then realized it was the midget that attacked me! Hmm I guess it was
about that time that I came out of my coma because I was suddenly back in Wal-Mart. And it was then that I realized that I
had not been attacked by a midget. In reality, I just ran into the big pole thingy in the middle of the isle. BUT then the
weirdest thing happened...I coughed and sneezed at the same time. Yea...I know what you are thinking....WEIRD!
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